So, in the "trying to conceive" world when a few months have pasted without successful pregnancy one often then goes into research mode trying to discover any and all ideas to help the process along. In this research you begin to learn all sorts of lingo.
TTC=Trying to conceive
DPO= Days past ovulation
CD= Cycle Day
AF= Aunt Flo
and the list inevitably goes on and on.
You begin scouring all sorts of online boards and groups to try to self diagnose.
You begin trying to interpret any little twinge and twitch that your body produces.
All of this hoping, just hoping, that you will one day experience that BFP! (big fat positive)
After months you just know there is something wrong. Unfortunately, the medical community says that you have to wait said amount of months or time period before you are "incapable of conceiving"on your own and need additional help. When the doctor does finally talk to you regarding your concerns the discovery process can be a lengthy one. I would say that mine has barely started. It begins with blood work to check hormones, then the husband has to go through testing, and then there are any hundreds of different treatments that doctors will try out. For me, my doctor has simply put me on clomid for a couple months to try to induce ovulation so that I could hopefully conceive.
This month I felt many new twinges and twitches in my body, I knew it was doing something that it wasn't always doing before. I was hopeful for the first time in months that this could possibly be the month we would learn that our family would be growing. Yesterday I experiences some cramping and hoped it meant that a little baby was settling in for 9 months. Unfortunately, this morning the cramps became much more severe (I am not used to ever having cramps related to my cycles) and I started my period (at least I think that is what this is) at CD 26 (cycle day). I say, I think, maybe, etc because my body has been in such a state of inconsistencies over the past year and I never know quite what to expect. I am used to having on average 35 days cycles but usually more, so while I am saddened that we didn't get our miracle this month, and I am thrilled that I did ovulate and that I didn't have to wait 40 days to start trying again.
It has been my husband and my prayer every single night for the will of the Father to be played out in our lives. We would love for that will to include a baby into our family. We are so thankful for the ability to have a God we can ask for our heart's desires, we are thankful for each other, we are thankful for medicine and the technology of our time, and thankful that we have many options for our future family.
We are so excited to have a child to share the love of Christ with and pray that day comes soon. For now, as I told a parent at conferences the other night, I have my niece and nephew that are a constant joy in my life and I also have my students.
Here's to another month.