Time....patience....more time describes the news we have been getting lately. I kind of feel like Sarah in Genesis who gave birth at a very old age and she was assumed to be barren.
On Monday I went for a mid-cycle ultrasound to see if my body responded to the femara (ovulation inducing med) that I took. I toted along my shot of hcg hoping that perhaps my follicles would be big enough to use it! The results were not exactly what I was hoping for. There was no follicle on one Fallopian tube and on the other side there was a huge one, a huge cyst. Well, at least that is what my doctor believes that it was. It was 25mm which for day 12 is really big so she believes that most likely I was overstimulated from the medication. On the other hand it could have been a follicle that was about the bust. So we have extremes, on the one hand we are hoping that it was a follicle and that timing would be on our side. On the other hand if it was a cyst it means that we will have to go medication free for a cycle after this one so it can shrink (the hormone medications make it grow).
We are trying to hold onto the silver lining in this, but have been a little negative because it seems that this is just the next thing. We continue to say that this must be all in God's plan, that is the only thing it can be.
In the meantime I continue to talk to my husband, I don't want to be one of those couples that is torn apart by infertility. I don't think it would tear us apart because of our faith and the way we communicate but I just wanted to let him know that I am trying to be as strong as I can for him and will do whatever I can to keep us strong. I wanted to have this conversation with him because yesterday when I told him the results of the ultrasound it seemed like he died a little inside. He has been so amazing through this whole process and I don't know what I would do without him.
He kind of set a plan for us tonight. We always have said that if we couldn't have our own children that we would most certainly adopt. So, we agreed that if it doesn't happen by next April (two years of trying to grow our family) that we would begin the adoption process. I will probably have a lot of research done before then so any tips would be beneficial.
Here's to more waiting. :)